If you are a “relaxed, chill all day on the couch” kind of person, you can stop reading now. However, if you are a high performing, non-stop achiever (or at least like to think of yourself as one) please continue reading. This blog is for you.
A common theme in my leadership work these days is how much people are feeling super stressed, anxious, burnt out and just down out exhausted. I am not surprised because I see that many leaders are increasingly under pressure to do more, with less at a faster pace. Keeping on top of these demands is taxing and overwhelming. But I have noticed something else. The most intense pressure is not from these external demands but from the internal voices. We put immense pressure on ourselves.
We are ruthless if we don’t complete the myriad of tasks on our ‘to do’ list. We are brutal if we forget an appointment and we are unforgiving of ourselves if we make a mistake; even minor ones. There is a tool I have been using when I am particularly hard on myself and I have shared it with my coaching clients. Recently, I was pleasantly surprised to see that one my favourite writers, Brene Brown, uses it too. It’s called the Permission slip.
The Permission slip is simply a break you give yourself. You give yourself permission to say no, to yet another demand. You give yourself permission not to attend that meeting because you can’t do it and humanly get everything else done. You give yourself permission to get into bed early even though the report is still pending because you recognize you are physically and emotionally exhausted. Ultimately, the permission slip allows you to take your foot off the accelerator. More importantly, it is about giving yourself a break without feeling guilty. It’s about learning to be compassionate with yourself.
I meet leaders all the time with flourishing work relationships because of, among other things, their ability to empathize with others. And yet, they fail to extend this compassion to themselves. The permission slip is therefore a tool for self-compassion. I recognize that is this is very alien concept to high achievers. You got to where you are by pushing yourself and driving yourself hard. The fear is that if you stop pushing yourself so hard, you would stop achieving. Is this really true?
Today, I would like to invite you to give yourself a permission slip. What is the one thing you would want to give yourself a break on today? What would you need to say to yourself internally to take that break without guilt? “What would your internal dialogue sound like if you were to continue to be a high achiever but would stop being so hard on yourself?”
This continent needs the very best leadership, its people have to offer. If we are to be frank with ourselves, we do not bring out our best when we are stressed, exhausted and overwhelmed. Maybe, today is the day you will grant yourself the permission slip so that your leadership reflects the very best of you!