Avoiding Mistake No. 2: How to get feedback

There is an Akan saying that when you are weeding, you cannot know that you are making a crooked line unless the one behind you tells you.  The proverb is pointing to the importance of feedback. As leaders, one of the things we need the most, but get the least of, is feedback.   The truth is in most African cultures we don’t give feedback to someone senior to you, much less older than you.  That mindset extends to the work place.

This is why this second mistake is a common one for many leaders.  The higher you go, the harder it is to get feedback. Even when you ask for it.  What people are good at is guessing what you want to hear and telling you that. When you mess up, that is when you will hear a deafening silence.  They will talk about it in the corridor but you are lucky if you get the feedback directly.

So what is the solution?  I know a few leaders that get regular, helpful feedback from their team members. This is what I have seen them doing.  

• They ask specific questions.  Rather than asking a general question such as “what feedback would you give for me?” or “How am I doing as your supervisor?” They ask: “What could I have done differently in that meeting to get more engagement?”  Or “What is it I need to change in my approach to working with Kwame?”
• They ask the right people.  The right people may be those most affected by their decisions.  It may be people courageous enough to speak their minds. Or it could be those who have the necessary information and experience to provide an informed opinion when asked.
• They ask at the right time.  They don’t wait for those painful 360 appraisal moments to get feedback, but get feedback when the issue is ripe.   In others words, they make sure the feedback they get is timely.
• They focus the feedback on the future.   People are more likely to give the boss feedback about what they can do differently next time then share what they boss did badly this time.  So the better questions are framed in a manner that focuses on the future e.g. what could I do differently going forward to get more funding for this project?

These few leaders are able to get feedback because they do the above, but also because of who they are.  They are people who are humble. This humility enables them to listen to the opinions of others, even when it’s not so pleasant.  This humility enables them to say sorry when the feedback they get says they have done something wrong. And finally, they are willing to change when the feedback requires them to.  People take a gamble when they give the leader feedback and they are more likely to do it again when they see that what they have to say matters.

I conclude with questions for your reflection:

• Who would you like to get more feedback from and on what?
• What can you do to make it easier to get that feedback?

I would love to know what you think and learn from you.  Leave a comment below and share your experiences with getting feedback or giving feedback to your line manager.